Are You Living Loved?
A Blog on Love by Portia Allen
Hello, Friends! It’s Portia, and I’m guest blogging this week for the lovely Katie Hawkins. I am so excited for her book, She Speaks Stories: Finding Hope, Help, and Healing in a Hard World. Keep watching for updates as the book is scheduled to be released in January 2022!
In the chapter “Living Loved” (I have an advance copy☺), Katie shares how her family showed up for her in tangible, loving ways and how one of the biggest challenges she faced was being the recipient of consistent and present love. Katie comes to understand that she is loved not because of the wonderful things she does for others, but simply for being herself.
Katie’s brother Tommy told her, “Kate, we’ve got to live loved to live love.” This is something I can relate to all too well—learning how to receive love well. How to live loved. I think it's something we may think we do, but if I could be transparent for a moment, it's something I’m not very good at all. How often have I prayed over myself and others what the Apostle Paul prayed over the Ephesian Church?
I pray that he may grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with power in your inner being through his Spirit, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. I pray that you being rooted and firmly established in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the length and width, height and depth of God’s love and to know Christ’s love that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:16-19, CSB)
God in his omnipresence is always with us and desires for us to understand that he’s made us to be with him (see Katie’s blog, “Got Character?”). He is so good at helping us become aware of his presence. And yet, it usually shows up in ways that we would never ask for or expect. How many times have I asked to know God’s love more deeply and then shunned his efforts to reveal himself to me?
He often uses other people to communicate his love for me. For instance, soon after having my third child, life began to pick up again, but I still had all of these additional responsibilities at home. After participating in our church’s amazing women’s conference, a friend asked if she could clean my house. Real talk here for a minute. The thoughts that flooded my mind were that if someone cleans my house, they will see how dirty it is these days. What will she think? What is she already thinking? I must not be doing well enough as a wife and mother if she’s offering to clean for me. It's amazing how many thoughts can bombard your mind in a matter of seconds. The last thought that came after the frenzy was from the Lord: “I’m trying to love you through your friend. Let her do this for you.” I cried (A LOT), but through my tears, I was able to communicate how much of a blessing it was, how thankful I was for the offer, and that yes, I would receive this precious gift.
Like Katie, I also come to the faulty conclusion that I am loved because of what I do for others. I often place too much value on what I am able to do for other people. After all, that’s how people know I love them, right? It's hard for me to be on the receiving end of things I think it's because I feel a little out of control of the situation. If something goes wrong, how can I fix it if I’m the one receiving? I wish that I could say that after my friend cleaned my house I never again struggled with receiving tangible expressions of love, but it is something God is graciously still working on in my life.
Let’s reflect back on Paul’s prayer for the Ephesians. He says that knowing (receiving) the love of Christ is what allows us to be filled with the fullness of God. Isn’t that what we all desire—to be full of God, so we can be like Christ? Could it be that we are missing out on the fullness of God because we're not receiving the love God is sending our way?
Jesus tells us in Mark 12 to love God and to love others as we love ourselves. I am able to love God as I receive his love. I am able to love myself as I receive love from God. I am able to love others only if I love myself, and I can only love myself if I receive love from God. That may seem like a lot, but it comes down to receiving the infinite love of God. Love does indeed conquer all when it is the love of God. I John 1:8 tells us God is love. Later in that chapter, John tells us that God’s love is perfect and casts out fear. I don’t have to fear not being loved. I don't have to fear what will happen if I don’t do this or that specific thing. God’s love simply is and cannot be earned.
Whether it’s a friend just wanting to be with you, take you out to lunch, or do something for you, dear reader, I encourage you to receive the love God has for you in all of its many forms. Begin by telling the Lord that you receive his love for you today. Right now, wherever you are, ask him to help you recognize and receive his love for you throughout your day. As we grow in receiving love well, we can “live love”.