A Book, A Dream, A Podcast

A Blog about Listening for God by Katie Hawkins

Have you ever asked God a question and then didn’t really expect a definitive answer? A verse I

love to quote:

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all

without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (James 1: 5)

But the next couple verses tortured me a bit:

“But when you ask you must believe and not

doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-

minded and unstable in all they do.” (James 1:6-8)

I’d ask God my questions, confessing my lack of wisdom, trying to hold Him to His promise of

giving to me freely and without reproach, but then I’d doubt! Not Him and His wisdom and

power and all that, but doubt that He’d send specific answers to my questions. Then I’d think,

“well, I’m probably one of these unstable ones and really shouldn’t expect anything from God.”

Lately, I’ve stopped doubting for a couple of reasons. First off, I’ve experienced His faithful

generosity in giving me direction in a myriad of ways. Secondly, I think as I age, it’s crystal clear

that I can’t solve my problems or confusions on my own. Nor can running to all kinds of worldly

sources truly give me the wisdom I’m seeking. God knows it all and He IS my source of wisdom.

Now, that doesn’t mean He doesn’t use people and worldly sources as He answers. In my case

lately He used a book, a dream, and a podcast to answer me.

My questions started with stories I was hearing from different sources.

We interviewed a gal from the Belgian Congo on our podcast (episode #205). She shared some

horrible details of how warring factions in that African nation use rape as a weapon of war. Her

uncle is a gynecologist in the Eastern part of the country that borders Rwanda and has become

a specialist in repairing the damage being done to thousands of women and girls by these

roving gangs. I was appalled as I read Dr. Denis Mukwege’s book, The Power of Women,

detailing the conditions of his patients and the stories of how they were assaulted.

I asked God, “How can men be SO evil?”

I was listening to a book on tape about Dr. Martin Luther Kings life. Again, I was appalled by the

violence and hatred he and his followers experienced as they fought for Civil rights. I couldn’t

believe the outright bigotry and violence spewed by so many.

I asked God, “How could you allow this for so long?”

I read a book by Ruta Sepetys portraying life under the Dictator Nicolae Ceausescu in Romania.

(I Must Betray You ) It was horrifying to read how one man and his evil wife could hold millions

of people under their wicked control for decades. And another book by the same author

detailing life under the regime of Francisco Franco, a Dictator that ruled Spain for 36 years,

revealed more horrible atrocities. (The Fountains of Silence)

“God, could no one have stopped these madmen? How could they not have been held

accountable?”

I’m watching a Series on Hulu called “We Were the Lucky Ones” all about a family of Jews in

Poland and what happened to each one during World War 11. Horrible!

“Jesus, you came for the Jews first and then the Gentiles…You and your original disciples were

Jewish. How could people seek to annihilate a whole race that have such history? How could

you allow it all?”

So much evil, so much suffering…hence my question. “God, how can people be so evil? How

can You bear to watch man’s inhumanity to man year after year?”

The answer came sporadically in three ways…another book, a dream I had, and then a podcast

that clarified the word of God to me.

I was asked to teach a lesson to a class studying J.I. Packers book Knowing God. I was assigned

the chapter on “The Wrath of God”. I wasn’t thrilled to be teaching on that subject but as I

dove into it, I knew God was starting to answer my questions. First bit of the answer came to

me while coming to grips with the fact that God’s wrath WILL be visited upon those who do evil.

It shall come in His time, not ours. These people will pay a price for all they’ve done against

humanity.

More of the answer came when I had a dream one night. I won’t bore you with the details as

they are ugly and hazy now, but I was the evil one being carried away by horrible but very

powerful lusts in my flesh. I remember the part of the dream where my conscience was

warning me to stop but my desires prodded me on to commit atrocious things and then I

justified my behavior to myself and others. When I awoke, I knew God was showing me that in

my own natural state I too would be fully capable of committing sinful acts against others. I

knew He was telling me that evil exists in all humans…there is none righteous, no not one! I

thanked God right then and there that although I also deserved His wrath, Jesus had borne it all

for me and put new desires in me. The Holy Spirit has given me the power to defeat sin, to fight

the hard pull of the flesh.

Lastly, I listened to a podcast called Everyday Truth by Kurt Skelly. He is teaching through the

book of Romans and the episodes explaining the first couple of chapters really enlightened me.

In a nutshell (listen to the episodes for a FABULOUS teaching on this!) Kurt explained that every

human being throughout all time has been given a knowledge of God and His ways through

creation and conscience. Men are without excuse as He gives light to all in various ways. When

people choose to ignore God, be their own God, they exchange the truth of God for a lie and

become ‘fools’. They might have a pseudo intellectualism that eases their conscience when

they knowingly become involved in evil things and then God gives them over to do what they

want to. But always, in the end, although they get what they want, they aren’t going to want

what they get. In the end, the excuses, the rationalizing, will be shown up for lies and the

‘stored up ‘wrath of God will descend. Chapter 2 of Romans shows us it’s not just ‘these wicked

and evil men’ that deserve His wrath but also the religious hypocrites that feel they are

removed from it all because they’ve checked the right boxes. All have sinned and fallen short

of the glory of God and the wages of sin are death. BUT the free gift of God is eternal life in

Christ Jesus.

So, when you ask God a deep question, expect an answer. It might not be a full understanding of

something that’s complex, but a bit of wisdom. In my most recent case of asking and receiving

God assured me that no matter how evil this world seems there is always hope and redemption

when we turn to Him, He will make all things right in the end.