Gleaning Hope in the Unknown
A Blog About Grief by Katie Hawkins
The death of Jane Marczewski grieved us deeply. Many of you precious listeners reached out to us with your own sorrow. I first met Jane, aka Nightbirde, when we interviewed her on our She Speaks Stories podcast in the fall of 2020. Many of you “met” her through that episode (Episode #112) and started following her journey. She was an amazing bright light in this world and those of us who knew her on any level, loved her. You couldn’t not! That’s not proper English (a double negative) but she was so compelling that you couldn’t help but be powerfully drawn to her. She will be deeply missed, obviously by those closest to her and our prayers are with her family and friends right now. But those of us who knew her only through media channels will miss her influence in this world also. She touched so many with her sincere heart of love for God. Her hope was contagious, and we all gleaned hope for our own stories through Jane bravely sharing hers.
Stories really do change lives.
One of you insightful listeners asked me how I personally felt about Jane losing her battle to cancer after seemingly winning at it for a while. If you recall, the podcast interview with her two years ago, was filled with hope and a story of miraculous healing. God did heal Jane for a time. Obviously, her work on earth was not finished. Nightbirde went on to win the golden ticket on an episode of America’s Got Talent and opened millions of souls to the hope that Her Savior had given her despite the reoccurrence of her cancer. She sang an original song called, “It’s OK”.
What’s OK about cancer returning? What’s OK about dying young? Could it possibly be OK?
As I dialogued with my thoughtful friend about Jane’s death, she questioned me, in so many words, if it would be “OK” if my own cancer returned. Millions prayed for Jane to be healed miraculously again. Hundreds of you listeners prayed for my own healing from cancer. Like Jane’s story two years ago, my own story turned out victoriously and we all praised God for His goodness to us.
Does Jane’s story now change that goodness? If my story takes a turn like Jane’s, will I still praise Him?
As we talk about all of this, my precious friend was after simply a deeper understanding of why God doesn’t answer prayers like we hope. And then, when He doesn’t, how can it not shake our faith in Him. I couldn’t give a comprehensive answer at the time. But the Wise Counselor who is always seeking to enlighten me and teach me spiritual truths (aka the Holy Spirit) led me to a podcast that seriously dealt with this very issue.
If you have questions about God seemingly not answering our prayers for our lovely friend Nightbirde or maybe not answering you in something you’ve been desperately beseeching Him for, tune into John Mark Comers Podcast (Practicing the Way) and look for the episode called Unanswered Prayer. It soothed a lot of my inner wrestling. It won’t remove your grief over losing a beautiful friend, but it will deepen your faith and trust that God knows what He’s doing.