Suffer Strong
Part 6: Purpose and Possibilities Through Cancer by Katie Hawkins
Suffer Strong by Jay and Katherine Wolf is the title of the latest book I’ve read. It is FABULOUS!
Lately, I’ve been drawn to books about people going through hard times. I guess misery loves company? Not sure what my motivation is, but I am sure about the wisdom I gather, and the hope that is imparted to me through reading other people’s stories.
I’ve always had a fascination with World War II stories. I’ve gulped down any story about the horrible suffering people endured in concentration camps, hiding in lofts from the Nazis, working for the French resistance, surviving nightly bombings in London. That genre still appeals, but lately I’ve broadened my horizons by reading stories from contemporary authors who’ve had their own lives seriously interrupted by traumatic health issues.
In her book It’s Not Supposed to Be this Way, Lysa TerKuerst tells her story of being diagnosed with breast cancer right around the same time as her marriage imploded.
Laura Story’s When God Doesn’t Fix It is about how her husband’s brain surgery left him with no short-term memory and put her in the roles of bread winner and caretaker when her plan was to have a baby and be a stay-at-home mom.
Ann Graham Lotz was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after losing both her husband and her father. She writes about it in her book Jesus In Me: Experiencing the Holy Spirit as a Constant Companion.
These stories have lent me such courage in my own battles. But this latest one, Suffer Strong, gives words to what it looks like to grow through our struggles instead of letting them defeat us.
Jay Wolf, one of the authors of Suffer Strong, talks about post-traumatic stress. He writes about the real possibility of growing stronger, better, more like Jesus, as we suffer trauma—dealing with the stress of it through the help, hope and courage that Jesus gives. It’s called post-traumatic growth. He cites a study done on a group of people who had been traumatized, but who came through it stronger. According to the study, these people had five things in common. They:
1. felt a renewed appreciation for life
2. saw new possibilities for themselves
3. felt more personal strength
4. saw their relationships improved
5. felt more spiritually satisfied
As I read that list, I was comforted that all five are true in my own life. I’ll explain how, but I want to make it very clear that I’m not saying this in a boastful, bragging way! All glory goes to God and His Spirit within me working like only He can to help a person grow despite circumstances.
#1 A RENEWED APPRECIATION FOR LIFE: Before my nine months of seclusion due to chemotherapy, surgery and radiation, I enjoyed life but didn’t deeply appreciate the little things.
Thankfully, I had a couple months of normalcy at the end of my treatments. I cannot tell you how much I appreciated being able to drive again, hug people, shop, take long walks with my husband, attend church, and a whole host of activities that I’d really just taken for granted. Everything sparkled. Rejoice in the Lord, always!
OK, yes! Everything was enjoyable. Then the pandemic hit, and I started some new chemo that zapped me completely. Would I still rejoice?
#2 NEW POSSIBILITIES: Yes, I could rejoice, because I’ve always wanted to write a book, but I could never sit still long enough to actually do it. I realized that this new season of life would be the perfect time to make that dream come true. I’m writing now, and the possibility that I could actually produce a book is bringing me great joy.
#3 MORE PERSONAL STRENGTH: Although my body is weak, I feel like my inner self is stronger. I have more self-knowledge. I have been weaned off of thinking that productivity equals value, that busyness equals importance. I’m able to find my identity in Christ alone. One of my favorite verses now is 2 Corinthians 4:16: “Therefore, we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, our inner man is being renewed day by day.”
#4 IMPROVED RELATIONSHIPS: When I read this one, my spirit leapt with a resounding “Yes!”
I’ve always loved my three brothers and my sister, but we live far from each other. We have intense family reunions, but only once or twice a year. Between these reunions, we had little contact with each other because of our busyness.
My sister has come from California and stayed with me four different times this past year. My brothers and their wives have visited several times. We talk on Zoom twice a week now. I’ve never felt closer to them. I feel like they really know me for who I am now, and vice versa. My precious daughter stayed with me for weeks at a time during the worst of the chemo and surgery. All three of my sons came with their wives and babies and helped me. My husband has been a treasure, literally doing everything around the house. My heart truly bursts with more love for my family.
My podcast teammates and listening audience, my prayer group friends, my home group people—even my new neighbors—all have an incredibly deeper place in my heart now than ever before. I feel so raw and open with people now, and I think that deepens relationships.
#5 MORE SPIRITUALLY SATISFIED: One of our first podcast guests was a gal named Donna Tyson, who talked about her journey with breast cancer. She said something that resonated with me when I was diagnosed a year and a half later. She said that she wouldn’t trade what she’d been through—even though parts of it were awful—because she had a new intimacy with Jesus that was priceless. I wondered about that until I experienced it myself.
Prior to being diagnosed, I had discussed three different things with Jesus. I’d asked Him to show me what it really meant for Him to be with me. I’d asked Him to make me willing to do His will instead of always wanting my way. I’d heard about “the dark night of the soul” happening to followers of Jesus and told Him I never wanted to experience that unless it would bring me closer to Him. He’s answering all of these prayers, and my spiritual satisfaction is through the roof!
So, my friends, whatever trials you are going through right now, please know that post-traumatic growth is not only possible, but probable if you keep your eyes on Him. Dare I say more than probable? Yes, a certainty, if you choose to trust God with your life, your purpose and possibilities, your inner strength, your relationships and your connection to Him. He makes all things beautiful in His time!